Movie Title: Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones
Date Released: January 3rd, 2014
Date Seen: December 28th, 2014
Part 1 – Spoiler Free Quickie Review
Oh, Paranormal Activity movies, how I loathe thee. And yet, I still watch you. This one popped up on Netflix, so I figured it was time to watch it. Let me just sum this movie up in one sentence: they talk to demons using a Simon says game.
So if you think that sounds freaking awesome, go for it! This Paranormal activity does the super obvious annoying stuff like “OH THAT’S WHERE MY CRAZY NEIGHBOR LIVES BTW”. *5 seconds later* “THERE’S MY CRAZY NEIGHBOR’S PLACE AGAIN IN CASE YOU FORGOT BUT DON’T WORRY SHE’S TOTALLY NOT IMPORTANT!” But again, we have come to love and accept that from P.A. movies. I say “love and accept” but mean “hate and begrudgingly tolerate.” Luckily they move past that bullshit pretty fast to get more into the posessiony kind of stuff.
The best character in this movie is drunk Grandma (Renee Victor). Sometimes she’s drunk, sometimes she’s grinding on her grandson, sometimes using a shake weight, and sometimes educating her grandchildren and friends on how they should not be talking to demons (spoiler alert: she’s not a fan of the simon says game). Though, the best friend Hector is pretty great too. He reacts to some normal horror movie situations like a real person would so that was nice. The acting is on par with normal P.A. movies, perhaps a little better than normal. I’m not sure if I think that just because I like the movie more or what.
This movie moves away from the hidden cameras, doors slamming, shadows in the corner of the room, and just goes for a possession. I’m ok with that, because I probably wouldn’t have kept watching (ok who are we kidding, I would have kept watching). But it was a nice change. It’s still a ridiculous and hilarious movie with an absurd plot, but it was way better than Paranormal Activity 4.
Part 2 – In Depth Spoiler Ridden Review
The movie begins with Jesse’s high school graduation. Then the high school graduation party. Everyone’s pretty dang excited for it being just a high school graduation, but whatever. Probably the most realistic scenes in any P.A. movie happened at the graduation though, with the family just kind of goofing off making fun of people during and after. Way to go, P.A. Hector is also pretty amusing and seems to react like the most normal movie in a horror movie situation, freaking out at appropriate levels the most of the time. I liked the movie more for that reason. Then there’s also the very realistic situation of “Hey, they kidnapped our friend, but we can’t call the cops, so let’s just call the gang leader and his friends to go with us to the cult house”. Not kidding, it was freaking great.
There is full frontal nudity of a pretty hot girl, and then full backside from a not so attractive older chubby lady…. So they cancel each other out?
I actually kind of like the little séance scene the kids do, because they are totally doing it like it’s a dumb joke, not taking it seriously at all. Especially Hector, so that’s very satisfying. This is as opposed to some horror movies where they just readily accept that doing a séance will DEFINITELY raise the dead.
Hilarious ridiculous stuff that happens: Talking to demons with the Simon says game, Hector drawing dicks on Jesse’s face, Hector sharting his pants, thugs going after a backpack as opposed to a CAMERA in his friends hand, the friends decide to go save Jesse because “he’s their friend” despite the fact that Jesse just killed drunk Grandma, and there’s also a part when they are “hiding” behind plastic sheets, but a camera light is 100% on and shining through the sheet. But somehow, the person on the other side of the sheet doesn’t see them.
Better than PA4, a couple of fun, actually likeable characters, and a nice change from the repetitivity of the first four films.