Movie Title: Immortals
Date Released: November 11th, 2011
Date Seen: January 1st, 2014
Part 1 – Spoiler Free Quickie Review
This movie has been sitting in my queue for lord knows how long, and Netflix just told me that it is going to be taken off in a few days, so I decided to watch it while I still had the chance. I’m not a big Greek mythology person, so I don’t know how the story should have gone according to legend, and so I don’t even take that into account…. except when it got a bit ridiculous.
We follow the story of Theseus, who is (of course) the one and only human with the strength and abilities to save the world. He meets an interesting cast of characters on his venture of saving the world, including a thief, virgin oracle, monk, and a few other randoms. He is fighting against King Hyperion, who wants to unleash the Titans on Earth and rule men.
The acting is way over done and the colors are over saturated throughout the whole thing. It’s a bit cheesy and ridiculous, but in an enjoyable way. I liked watching the movie even though it was blatantly obvious what was going to happen. It makes sense that this movie was produced by a number of men who also produced 300. You can see this in the fighting style, as well as the costuming and over abundance of chiseled abs. In fact, a good portion of this movie takes place with at the very least Theseus (Henry Cavill) being shirtless. A lot of times he is fighting people that are also shirtless. They’ll have on boots, leg armor, and helmets, but no shirts. That makes sense, doesn’t it? But hey, I’m not complaining. Any movie that combines sexy shirtless men and lots of fighting and blood and guts is my kind of thing. And there was a lot of all of those things.
The fighting scenes are all reminiscent of 300. Again, probably due to the producers. So if you liked that crazy, ridiculous, law-of-physics breaking, slow motion, with too much blood, style of fighting found in 300, well then you will enjoy the fighting in this movie! This had a nice mix of smaller fights, with small groups, or person-on-person, and then a couple of huge battles. It was a nice mix that I appreciated.
If you liked 300, give this a watch for the pure fighting, blood and guts ridiculousness of it. But don’t expect a fantastic plot and well developed characters… just have some fun while watching it.
Part 2 – In Depth Spoiler Ridden Review
There’s a very rough synopsis here. It’ll give you an overview of what happened.
I like how the bow was “hidden” in some rocks… in the middle of the main room of a religious temple, in the only un-carved piece of rock. No one ever though that was weird, that this one thing wouldn’t break free? Or did it just appear when Thesus came looking for it? Sheesh.
I also find it hilarious that there is basically no discussion before the Oracle and Theseus decide to get it on. Like oh hey “save me from my visions pleaseee”. Not “hey, I like you, lets wait until this war is over when my visions might be pretty useful and THEN lets get it on and ruin my vision power.”
For the first time, during the big fight in the tunnel, all the men have shirts on. I feel cheated. I liked this movie for the sheer lack of shirts. But, thankfully, the shirts are armor that come with premade abs and nipples, so I at least get some artificial abs to look at.
Stavros moves pretty quick for a dude with a bone sticking out of his leg. I guess it’s adrenaline though, considering he just witness a race of loser gods get released from their prison, and he got the magical god bow. So you know, adrenaline makes since in this case. Also, around here is when I started to wonder why the gods never killed the Titans in the beginning. Did they figure eternal suffering locked up was better than immortal death? Perhaps. Just seems like if you were planning on killing them when they eventually got out of their cage, why not kill them early on, so that you’d never have to worry about it.
Now, I said above that I’m not a big Greek mythology person, however, I do recall that Hyperion was the king of the titans. So they just kind of twisted it around a little bit and made him the mortal that released them? Odd. Also, I don’t remember basically ALL the big gods dying. Poseidon, Ares, Athena… you know. I feel like that’s a big change in mythology. Like, a huge one. Also it seems to be that if an entire race of previously imprisoned Gods escaped, more than 5 people would go down to try and stop them. It seems to be just Zeus, Athena, Poseidon, and two red shirts (ha), go down. I’d take a couple more, it might be worth it.
An over-acted, hilarious, and yet awesome ridiculous greek mythology movie, that is very reminiscent of ‘300’.