Movie Title: I Am Number Four
Director: D. J. Caruso
Date Released: February 18th, 2011
Date Seen: November 9th, 2012
Part 1 – Spoiler Free Quickie Review
A mediocre film that couldn’t decide if it wanted to be a typical high school love story or an alien movie. So it just decided to be both. It is the story of an alien boy with mad parkour skills being hunted down by another alien race on earth that leaves you with way more questions than answers – but, I guess it is good in that you (kind of) want to see more. But they’re never going to make a sequel, so the questions will never get answered, and so, it sucks.
The reason why this films fall flat is that there is NO explanation of the kids beyond “There are 9 of us. We were saved. Now they’re hunting us down.” You do find out that the bad aliens want to kill these 9 kids because they could stop them… ok, well, that’s kind of a given. But there’s no explanation as to what the symbols the kids carry on them is, why the kids *have* to be killed in numerical order, how the kids managed to escape their planet, etc. So it’s pretty disappointing – especially considering the main reason I watched it was because I wanted to know why the hell the order mattered.
The acting is alright – I found myself wanting way more of Number 6 (Teresa Palmer) just because she is so damn pretty, and Sam (Callan McAuliffe) because his character was pretty funny… and seemed the most believable character (considering the limited back stories we got on any of them). So, I liked him. Timothy Olyphant plays Henri, John’s guardian – who is always awesome, of course. He does have unfortunate hair in this movie. The first scene it’s completely horrible but we just won’t mention that. The main character, John Smith is played by Alex Pettyfer. Here is where I get extremely annoyed. Alex Pettyfer is British. The character, John Smith, moves around ALL the time. So – why does he have to have an American accent? Yes, they’re in the US, I guess, but who cares? Why did he have to have a fake accent? That was just stupid. They let Teresa Palmer keep her accent – but nope, not Alex.
Part 2 – In-Depth Spoiler Ridden Review
Ah, glowing hands and parkour skills. What more could a budding alien want? Well, let me tell you. A beautiful, slightly nerdy human girlfriend with a perfect 4 person family, complete with significantly younger yet adorable younger brother? Yes, he got that. Are they absolutely perfect enough to make John extremely sad that he doesn’t have that type of family? Yes, they are. Oh wait, said girl has a complete douche bag obsessed with her and goes after anyone that comes near her? No way…. And there is a a nerdy kid that everyone thinks is a freak because he says his dad was abducted by aliens!? WHAT?! Now we just need a black kid and this movie will have every common high school movie character ever.
Oh wait, even better, there’s a local county festival complete with haunted hay ride that all of these characters attend. The jealous ex boyfriend has his friends jump new couple, but new boyfriend kicks ass? Seriously? Am I even watching an alien movie here? Yeah his hands shine sometimes – but….. it’s just such a high school movie. Alien boy even wants to abandon his alien duties for their like whopping one and a half dates. Sheesh! But ok, back to how we needed a black kid… nope, none in this movie. So it’s more like an early 90s high school romance film, when the black kid wasn’t even necessary.
So anyway, some parts were completely idiotic. Clearly people have found you – and yet you take the time to go develop pictures with your girlfriend about “who you are” rather than just being like all “hey, I’m an alien.” Well now, that was dumb. Also, when the bad ex boyfriend got kidnapped by the evil aliens and was thrown into a glass window – and then the next day is completely helpful and accepting of John… um yeah, no.
The final fight scene was short, but nice. I liked the addition of the dog being a chimera – but you do see a kind of hurt dog after the fight, so that might make you sad. But he doesn’t die, so it’s ok.
I would maybe watch it again if it was on TV, but that’s it. It just left so many things unanswered that it left me unsatisfied, other than staring at a few pretty people for a couple of hours.