Movie Title: Dot.Kill
Director: John Irvin
Date Released: November 8th, 2005 (DVD USA)
Date Seen: July 15th, 2012
Part 1 – Spoiler Free Quickie Review
Skip it. Watch Untraceable instead if you want a similar premise yet 10000x better movie. This is filled with an unlikeable main character, with an annoying as shit cough and personality, crappy kills, way too much unnecessary extra plot pieces, and it’s just annoying and hard to watch. I found my self 30 minutes in wishing it was over because I couldn’t stand it so much. So, skip it. Please.
Part 2 – In Depth Spoiler Ridden Review/Synopsis
We start the movie by seeing a weird website page telling us basically about how the world is fucked up and this person has found a “cure”. Creepy.
We meet Detective Charlie Daines (Armand Assante), his wife Mary (Clare Holman), and their son Stevie (Frank Nasso). Stevie is watching this website, saying it came up on a popup. You see a man tied up in someway to a pull with a gun pointed at him. Stevie just thinks its fake and his dad gets on to him for staring at the computer screen so much. While Stevie continues to watch, Charlie goes to have breakfast and his wife gets on to him for having cigarettes since they apparently have recently all decided to get healthy (as shown by the egg whites on plain toast). Charlie doesn’t seem to happy about this. Stevie sees the man in the video get shot, and then a bit later Charlie gets a phone call – to head out to that very crime scene.
It appears that this man was a CEO of a company, and his murder was broadcast to more than 2 million people online. We see the cops investigating the scene a little bit – and we also see that the killer is still watching them, on some of his own cameras.
We find out that Charlie has a severe cough, and something is wrong with him. He has a doctor friend who is getting him oxycotin, but is refusing to give him anymore unless he tells Mary what is wrong with him and goes to the hospital. So whatever is wrong with him must be pretty bad. Charlie doesn’t want to go to the hospital because he thinks he’ll just become a morphine zombie. He goes and picks up Stevie from church and takes him home – and at home Stevie goes back to the website. Stevie shows his dad that now the investigation shots, that we saw the killer looking at earlier, are being broadcast online. Oh noes.
Charlie goes to talk to Mickey (Sonny Marinelli), his partner, about what happened. The guy is, of course, tech savvy, so they can’t trace him. At the precinct, they interview the CEO’s assistant, and she says the normal, she’s not sure who would want to do this to him, blah blah. Then they all start looking into how the guy managed to remain untraceable – so they’re delving deep into this website. At the same time, Charlie’s cough is getting worse and worse. He calls up someone asking if they can “help him out”. He goes to meet Jane (Morven Christie), a recovering addict, who scored him some drugs. He shoots up, saying sorry that he made her do this. She says it’s ok, she’s clean now and owes it all to him, and she’s even going to get her GED soon. So cute yet so awkward at the same time… “Hey recovering addict, will you guy buy me, the cop, some drugs?!” Haha.
The next scene we see a guy in a parked super nice car (I’m horrible at cars so I’m not going to try to even guess what it is, although I feel most people would be like THAT’S CLEARLY A _____!!!), getting a bj from a prostitute. After the bj is over, he starts smoking a cigarette, and then we see a gun appear pointed at his head. So this man is probably going to be our next victim.
Back at Charlie’s house, this morning, he is having a lovely meal of a protein shake, and Mary says she enrolled them in a yoga class. I look forward to his breakfast every morning just to see what healthy thing Mary has come up with… yeah, I’m weird. Charlie’s phone rings, and he runs into Stevies room to see Stevie again watching the website – and we see the bj man hanging upside down, super high up in a warehouse. As Charlie comes in, the man drops and goes splat. Stevie kind of laughs and Charlie severely scolds him for laughing at a man being murdered right in front of him.
Charlie goes to the crime scene. Again, it was a CEO of a major corporation, again the killer is still watching them, and again, about 2 million people saw it. Charlie does manage to find the camera this time though. Back at the precinct, they are trying to find some type of digital footprint that this man left behind. They think that since the killer is targeting major corporations CEOs that it’s some type of hacker terrorist group. Charlie is against all the new technology and whines and cusses a lot about searching the internet for the killer rather than actually looking for him. It’s one of his major moments of doucheyness.
Then, in an attempt at a touching moment, Charlie goes to see the recovering addict again, and reveals to her that he is dying. Whatever, he’s too much of an annoying douche now to care. This scene was also mildly annoying for the fact that you could actually see his contacts in his eyes to make them look red. Bleh. Back at the precinct, more coughing. Again. Mickey does follow him into the bathroom this time though and notice that Charlie is coughing up blood. Oh no. Charlie goes home and brings Stevie a new computer. Apparently he’s developed feelings all of a sudden and wants to apologize to his son. He even that nights has a kind of emotional night with his wife. Again, wtf, where did the feelings come from? If it’s the drugs, I think he should take them all the time.
Somewhere in here we see another old guy, who looks rich, on a boat, get shot at. Next we see Charlie open up the computer and see this man tied up on a ladder in some water – and the water is slowly rising. They are trying to find his location in time…. but obviously too late. They go look at the body, and don’t worry, the same douchey coughing Charlie is back. He again whines about how the technology guy, Adam (Raffaello Degruttola) failed them. He’s back at the precinct coughing again, being a douche again, and so the tech guy just goes and tells Mickey what he’s found out, and the guy he thinks is doing it.
Charlie goes to lunch with the first CEO’s assistant, because something is bothering him. Apparently it’s bothering him the way he left his apartment building. Weirdo. The assistant seems to be avoiding the question….. because where did he go? A strip club. The assistant seems embarrassed to admit it. Why? I’m not sure, she’s not the stripper, so whatever. Charlie then goes to the strip club trying to get more information. The only real information he gets is that the guy always goes out the back door, and he saw the CEO leave and talk to some beggar.
Mickey and the tech guy are staking out the person they think did it – they find out that he’s betting on the stocks going down, a few hours before the murders. So, in other words, he’s betting the markets will go down, then kills a major CEO to guarantee they go down, and is making boatloads of money off of it. So they go in to get this guy… and find out he’s stuck in bed with two broken legs. So he’s obviously not doing it. Aw man.
Suddenly, Charlie has feelings again and decides to ask Adam out for a drink. Random. He’s hated him before and hates technology but suddenly decides to be nice to him. Ugh. He then even invites Adam over for dinner. WHAT IS WITH THE SUDDEN CHANGE OF PERSONALITY. I hate it. Adam does seem to keep talking about politics or something. He makes a comment about how at one other job he told everyone what was going to happen, they ignored him, and then he watched “their fear and panic with a bit of amusement”. So what does that mean? come on, it’s obvious. He also makes a comment about how Charlie has a “very beautiful family”. Creeper.
The next day at the precinct, as Charlie gets the video from the strip club – they all come in because there’s a new person on the website. OMG it’s a naked woman this time… and Charlie starts looking at her… OMG IT’S JANE THE RECOVERING ADDICT. Oh noes. She gonna die. This time, Adam manages to get the signal and so they go try to save her. She is naked and handcuffed to the steering wheel of a car. As Charlie runs up, he gets almost there, and Jane is screaming “no! no! no!” and then the car blows up. Now Charlie suddenly realizes that Adam is the killer. He calls his family and gets them ready to leave – before Stevie leaves he gets an email… it shows a video of him meeting Jane. Stevie is all angry at his dad and Charlie is all “well I needed my fucking morphine!”. God. Back at work, there’s some conversation with an unnatural number of “fucks” (seriously, it’s ridiculous), where the director or whatever yells at Charlie. I’m not sure what happened because there were so many damn fucks and I just zoned out because I didn’t care. And trust me, I have a potty mouth. But this was ridiculous. It was every other word. I didn’t care to understand this mans conversation.
Charlie now goes to buy some more morphine or oxycotin or something, and we see Mickey watching him from afar. Charlie goes to the hotel he is staying at and shoots up, and then decides to put in the tape from the alley behind the strip joint. He sees that there are some wheelchair marks on the ground – omg – further implicating Adam (oh yeah, did I mention Adam is in a wheelchair? well, he is.) Mickey calls and needs to talk to Charlie. So they meet up, and Mickey tells Charlie he knows about Jane and is taking him off the case. Charlie starts coughing and can barely stand, and Mickey says he’s gonna take him to the doctor. Then Charlie goes insane and beats the shit out of Mickey… then there’s a weird conversation about how Charlie thinks Mickey set Jane up two years ago, and then Charlie tries to stab Mickey in the eye with something, and Mickey said he never did it and he didn’t tell the captain about Jane…. random. Charlie’s a douche and needs to die. That’s the point we’re all at here. This is another point I looked at the clock and about died to realize there’s another 20 minutes of this stupid movie left.
Back at the precinct, Charlie is looking up “polio rehab clinics”… so wait, Adam has polio? Polio still exists? SERIOUSLY?! Ok…. so moving on…. we see Adam going somewhere, getting into an elevator, and then standing up out of his chair to steal some guys clothes. He steals his clothes and then goes and hacks into a computer – and sends something to the FBI. Then in a delivery man uniform, he goes to some cops house and sprays him with mace. He takes him (in his pimpin’ wheelchair accessible mini-van) to his secret death warehouse. At the same time, Charlie is looking up Adam’s purchases – and sees he spends a certain amount each month to a company called “Anderson Warehousing”…. you know, for being tech savvy, I don’t think I’d have a warehouse on my credit card bill, if I also have a “secret” death warehouse.
Charlie calls Mickey and they both head to the warehouse, and at the same time, the new kidnapped man appears on the website. He appears to be tied to a chair and have something on his head, although I can’t tell what it is. Charlie immediately goes into the warehouse, sees the security guard shot, and starts looking for the kidnapped man. He hears moans (the dying kind, not the sex kind), and follows them. This time, he doesn’t immediately barge in… he goes in and sees that the man has a plastic bag on his head, and is sitting on a giant metal plate with some water on it… and some battery cables… after hesitating for a minute, Charlie gets in there and saves the man. Everyone is happy, yay, Mickey comes in then and takes the man away, and Charlie knocks down a camera. We see Adam start giggling wherever he is, and another camera angle pops up. A black guy on the team is sweeping the room it looks like, and finds where a signal is coming from. Charlie rips out that camera and sees that it has a note on it… it has 4 triangles and 3 squares. He recognizes this as the move Adam taught Stevie on some video game…. Charlie screams noooo and covers Mickey as he walks back in the room, and the room explodes. Mickey rolls Charlie off of him and for a second we think he’s dead YAY! Mickey even starts crying like he’s dead.. YAY! But damn it…. Charlie opens his eyes. Ugh. I don’t care that he tried to save Mickey, he’s still annoying as shit.
Adam sets up a bomb to blow up all his stuff, and as he goes to leave, Charlie comes in saying “you’re late on your fucking rent”. How Charlie got there that fast unless it’s the same building, I’m not sure. But whatever. Charlie beats up Adam… they have some stupid talk about how he’s just a shitty killer, blah blah blah, Charlie has a cigarette, while he lets the bomb clock count down, and then it blows up. So while I’m happy that Charlie died because he annoyed the shit out of me…. that final act was just even more douchey on his part – you could have TOTALLY lived douchebag, but you just *had* to make yourself a martyr? Really? Douchebag.
This movie was shit. Don’t watch it. The main character is so unlikeable, it’s so predictable, and it’s a complete waste of time. If you want a good online kill movie, go watch Untraceable.